I've been gone a while. Honestly, I feel like I'VE never actually been here till now. I never even knew how broken I really was until I was put back together. I look back at the last year of my life and ask my mom, 'Where in HELL was I?', because I was in Hell. Horrible things happen everyday. And it's not ALL done by other people, but now within our own beings. Our own brains and bodies are betraying our very spirits that dwell there. And I do not think that God would put us here on this earth to depend on anything but the earth itself and Him. And HE works through other people. People are how people are saved, and when everyone around you is afraid to talk about injuries and fatalities of the mind and soul, how is one to be helped? I've literally made it through hell by the skin of my teeth. I should be dead. It's because of the seldom few who tried, and the miracle working of God through his children, that I am here to speak on behalf of those who struggled, and struggle, the way so many others have and are, including myself. I'm here to speak for those who are too afraid, who's families and friends do not understand. Who live in a society where suicide, sexual assault, and mental disorders are often heard of and seen, and talked about behind close doors, but where very few are willing to break down the barrier, to crush stigmas and shatter the taboo behind these very serious issues.
My struggle the last, nearly, 2 years has not been one for the faint of heart, or in this case, faint of mind. Rape and suicide and mental illness, it has been a battle, a battle that could have so easily been lost, and has been lost by too many others. And by that I mean if ONE singe person is losing this battle, that is TOO MANY. With every battle that is lost, every individual who either accepts sedation or termination, we are losing a WAR. And I refuse to let anyone around me ignore this War any longer.
There are so many things that need to be changed. Stop talking ABOUT each other, and talk WITH each other, The help that we need to give starts by acknowledging and accepting that someone who is struggling with a mental illness is not a leper, and they did not bring it upon themselves. It is the same as the horrible and sad car crashes and illnesses that happen to individuals, the stories that everyone spreads around through social media, asking for support and prayers. Why is it that only suicides are passed around this way? 'Oh look, someone lost a battle, support and love sent!' Why aren't we sending love and support NOW?! Why are we creating a stigma of fear and embarrassment at mental illness and even more so, sexual assault?! We need to create an environment that addresses the 'monsters' at the edge of the map, a courageous endeavor to understand and explore those areas of physicality and mentality that need to be uncovered. It is because of the fear and shame of others that people like me are unable to be open about those monsters, that are really just another land of discovery, a place of opportunity and understanding that can help in addressing future mental health issues, and build future support of unseen injury.
I am not asking for these things to be addressed publicly, YET, it is still very, very sensitive area, and will take a long time to have the acceptance it deserves, but that does not mean to completely keep quiet about these things, and speak of it only behind closed doors, it does not mean that an individual does not seek help and support, friends and family understanding. A broken leg is obvious, yes, they are in pain, and we know cause we see it's broken, it's harder to understand something that can not be seen. But I know it can be done. I KNOW that there is help and hope for peace of mind and clarity, more so than I ever thought was even possible. Through Heavenly Father's help, and the help of a company called Q Sciences, I am alive and well today. Before you poopoo and skoff at a 'product placement', do you're own research. Because I thought the same thing, and now I'm actually LIVING, and have a future ahead of me, which wasn't in the cards before.
For those of you who read this before Jan 29th, there is a meeting at the Marriot Courtyard Hotel in St. George, UT at 7pm that will be informative about what Q Sciences is, and will have two of the highest ups in the company, Tony Stephen (whom I've met and spoke with many times) and Daren Hogge (another wonderfal man whom I've also personally met and spoke with) and I will also be speaking and sharing my story. It is NOT about the money, and you DO NOT HAVE TO JOIN to get the product. This product has changed my life, please come to find out for yourself the help that we've always needed. Here's my website to learn more about it: http://anniew.myqsciences.com/
Also, my email is in this blog somewhere...I think... haha! soshedid.hope@gmail.com< Here it is!! So feel free to contact me anytime for love and support, questions and concerns, whatever it is that you may need. I am here for anyone who needs someone to talk to. Love you all, thanks for reading, and pass it along! I'll be writing a lot more frequently now, hopefully every couple weeks or more. :)
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